A Few of My Thoughts

As I scroll through my Facebook feed, I do not have to read very many posts to know that those on my friend list have drastically different views on world events, nutrition, healthcare, religion, and life in general. I have also noticed that no matter the opinion, there is a blog post, news article, or someone else's Facebook post to support each opinion.

There are few absolutes in my life. One is that my faith and trust are in Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world and as my Savior. I know that not all on my friend list have this faith as I do, but it doesn't mean that I can't be friends with those people. I know for certain that one person with whom I grew up and who is very dear to my heart has a drastically different lifestyle than I, but I love this person dearly. I also have a friend on my friend list who is not just one of those casual friend list people but someone with whom I have truly shared day-to-day life and this person has a Muslim background. I have no doubt that this person is hurting over what is happening in the world just as my Christian friends are hurting over what is happening in the world.

Am I supposed to ostracize myself from my friend just because of what some bad people have done who also happen to be Muslim? Does our relationship change in any way? Do I view my friend any differently? No, I don't. I love my friend. I love my friend's family - the two precious children who have played in my home . . . there are fond memories of trips to the park and meals shared. The view that I have of my friend has not changed.

Questions keep popping into my head. As a Christian, Bible-believing woman, I go to the Bible, the Holy Word of God, for my answers. 

For whom did Jesus die? 

He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:2

Now, I am not saying that every sin is automatically forgiven. One has to accept Jesus as Savior and ask for forgiveness from sin, but this invitation is freely offered to EVERYONE.

If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

Exactly whom am I supposed to love? (I have a previous blog post on this one.)

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40

As these verses clearly state, I am to love above all else - first God and then others. That is all others. I do not get to pick and choose.

Is God aware of what is happening?

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31

Yes, He most certainly is and He tried to prepare us for it.

. . . In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

The real key to everything is Jesus - accepting Him, seeking Him, following Him, doing as He leads you to do. I only answer for me. You will answer only for yourself. It doesn't matter what your friend, spouse, parents, kids believe, do or say. It comes down to what you believe and then what you do with that belief.

My desire is to be the person God desires for me to be. I believe that is where true peace, true joy is obtained. For every person that looks differently.

Don't take my word for anything. Do your own research. Read the Bible. Find answers for yourself. If you haven't already done so, trust Jesus and follow His plan for your life. I believe that you will be glad you did.

Continuously seeking Jesus in order to have JOY . . .

Tami

Giving Up

Do you ever want to just give up? There are times that I certainly do. When things aren't going my way, I just want to quit. There are many times that my kids have wanted to give up and I, as the parent, have to say, "No, you have to keep going." Then, there are those times when you need to give up and you continue to hang on ever so tightly. That is what is on my mind today - giving up when it is time to do so.

I am a very possessive person - my house, my car, my clothes, mine, mine, mine! I often say this is because I only have one brother and we never shared anything while growing up. He was all boy and I was all girl and we very seldom ever crossed any lines when it came to what was his and what was mine. Prior to marriage, I lived alone for about ten years so everything was definitely MINE!

I am very much a "homebody." I would much rather stay home than go anywhere else. My house is my haven. It is very me - everything has a place and everything is in its place or I am working on getting it into its place. (That includes screaming, "insert child's name come pick up your _______________ and put it away - NOW!"- We have a lively home.)

Over the years, I have been asked to give up my home - yes, the house in which I live, my haven. The first time was about 13 years ago. My daughter was an infant. She had the perfect little room. Being that she was an infant, it was virtually untouched. When I received the call from the youth minister at our church asking if a missionary family (with several young kids) could stay in our home while we were out of town, I almost hyperventilated. The nerve of him to ask such a thing of me! Even though it was very hard for me, I did say yes and I was blessed. That particular family stayed in our home other times as well and each time I received a blessing.

At this point, I would really have to stop and think to count up how many have stayed in our home since that first rendering. Some times, we were out of town. Other times, we have been home. I can only think of two families that we actually knew prior to them arriving on our doorstep. The majority have been people seeing doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center. The most recent call came this past Monday. I didn't know the woman on the other end of the phone. She is the sister-in-law of a friend of my mother's. All I knew is that her husband is very ill and that they are desperately seeking a miracle through the doctors at MD Anderson.

This time, I was asked to give a little more. Due to the husband's health, he is not able to go up and down the stairs in our home to get to the second floor guestroom. The only bedroom on the first floor is the master bedroom - my bedroom, my haven. The place where I go when my kids are driving me crazy. The room that has my favorite chair. Really? Give up MY room? Yes, I knew in my heart that I was to give up my bedroom.

Yesterday, I spent the day cleaning. Top to bottom I cleaned. I spent more time on the master bedroom and bathroom than any other room because for the first time EVER it was going to have guests in it. Not just any guests, but guests who are going through one of the worst things one can imagine. At the end of the day, when the cleaning was done and dinner was made, I received a text that our guests would not be coming to our house after all. The doctors decided to keep the husband in the hospital and the wife was choosing to stay with him. Would you please take a moment to say a prayer for this couple?

I have no doubt that God knew all of this from the VERY beginning - even before that first phone call. I believe that He just wanted to know where my heart was. He wanted to know if I was willing to give up that part of me that is so very MINE. You see, my master bedroom is the hidden part of who I am and God used this to show me that he wants that hidden part - not just the part that I allow everyone else to see. I am also thinking that this all goes back to that denial thing. What do you think?

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

I want/desire for my treasure to be the things of Christ, not my earthly possessions. Like me, is there something to which you are holding on too tightly? Is it time for you to give it up?

May you find JOY in giving up. I know I have!

Tami

Just a side note:  I do share the master bedroom with The Professor, but he lets me pretend that it is all mine!

The Internet and Social Media can be a good thing

So often, the negatives of the internet and social media are pointed out. And, I have to admit, there are times that I think social media is horrible! It seems to give people the freedom to say whatever pops into their crazy heads. The Professor refuses to be part of social media because he doesn't want to be part of the drama. I refuse to allow my thirteen-year old to be part of social media because I do not believe her mature enough to handle all the drama! Sometimes I even think I am too young for all of the drama.

However, I believe there are also great, life changing, benefits to the internet and social media. For me, it all began back in 2007 when The Professor accepted a visitorship position at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia. During our time there, I was doing a lot of sewing and joined an online fabric coop. In this coop, I met a fellow sewer named Kym.

Kym and I are about the same age, both originally from Oklahoma and both love anything crafty. (I have to throw in, though, that I am "crafty". Kym is a true artist.) A friendship quickly budded and when Facebook came to be, we became Facebook friends. Over the last several years, we have rejoiced with each other, cried with each other and watched each other's family through pictures. No, we have never met in person, but I do hope to some day.

Kym is the one who introduced me to New Horizons for Children which led to our hosting an orphan from Ukraine in the summer of 2013. Hosting that little girl was a life changing experience for our family - some good and some not so good. While in the middle of some of the not so good, I was introduced, through Facebook, to Beth, a behavior specialist.

Not only was Beth a great support to me when I needed someone who understood what we were going through while hosting a very hurt little girl from a foreign country, but we also learned that we have so many things in common.  We are the same age, we have had a lot of the same health issues and we generally like the same things like hot tea and Hallmark movies just to name a few. Just like I have with Kym, Beth and I have laughed together, cried together and generally shared life through Facebook.

Several months ago, Beth sent me a little book of poems. In the wake of my dad's death back in August, I passed that book over to my mother thinking it might bring her some comfort. My mom ended up picking a poem from that book to use as part of my dad's obituary at his funeral. Looking back at how God orchestrated and strung everything together amazes me. He is truly a part of the little details.

A couple of weeks ago when we traveled to New York, my kids and I were able to take the train from NYC over to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to meet my friend Beth and her three boys. What a blessing it was! Spending time with Beth in person was quite fun. I felt as if I had known her forever and that we were just picking up where we left off. I don't know when or where we will get to actually connect in person again, but we are keeping in touch on a daily basis through Facebook.

So, to those who think social media is keeping people from having "true" relationships, I beg to differ. Not only am I getting to reconnect with childhood classmates, former teachers, coworkers, and neighbors, I have made new, true, lasting friendships through social media. It has been quite a blessing in my life. I am reminded of this verse from Proverbs:

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NIV

I thank God for these friendships.

May you have JOY in your friendships - old and new.

Tami

Denial - Part 2

Typically, even before I started blogging, when I  have a thought running through my head, I can write about it and that's the end of it. This denial thing is proving to be a different story. Prior to publishing my last post, I had "The Professor" (aka my husband) read it and he exclaimed, "You can't just end with one post! You have to have a follow-up." So, here I am with post number two on denial.

As I previously stated, denying something like the laundry, your age, etc. doesn't make it go away or change. I have a tendency to fall back on the ole "out of sight, out of mind," but that doesn't work either. Every time I look in the mirror I am very aware of the age thing! Reality has to hit at some point. Most all of the time it is better to face the facts and deal with it.

However, there is some positive denial. As a parent, I have had to deny numerous things for the sake of my kids.  Just to name a few:

1. Deny going to the bathroom in peace. It never fails, someone always yells at me.

2. Deny myself  that last chocolate cookie (that I tried to hide and eat when no one was looking) to my favorite chocolate-lovin little man. That kid can smell chocolate a mile away!

3. Deny having the day to myself by homeschooling because I believe it is best for my kids. I would rather ship them off to someone else on a daily basis so I can watch Hallmark movies and eat those chocolate cookies without anyone knowing.

There is also that denial that God asks of us - denying yourself for the sake of Christ (you can see Matthew 16:24-27 as quoted in my previous post). What does that look like? It is different for every person, but it is something that we all must do IF we want to follow Christ and be whom he created each of us to be.

For me, some of it looks like:

1. Living in Houston because I desire to support my husband and that is where God has placed him when I would rather live in a small quaint town and spend my days watching Hallmark movies.

2. Homeschooling instead of sending my kids to a public/private school so I could watch Hallmark movies.

3. Helping out a friend when I would rather be at home watching a Hallmark movie.

4. Anything that is my own selfish desire (i.e. watching a Hallmark movie) that prevents me from being and doing what God has called me to be and do. That can actually change on a day-by-day basis.

For others it can look like giving up all material possessions and moving to a foreign country to love on other people. It can be serving in the children's ministry at church when you would rather go to church and just sit. It can be cooking and delivering a meal to a sick friend. It can be disrupting life as you know it by fostering or adopting a child. The list can go on and on.

The point is Jesus tells us that in order to follow Him and be whom He created us to be that we must deny ourselves. In the book of Matthew, Jesus tell us:

"He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 10:39

This denial thing is serious business! It's one thing to try to deny you are getting older and not be successful, but it is another thing to not deny yourself for the sake of Christ. It is only through the denying of self that we can truly be the person that God desires for us to be. Are you making the right denials? Only you can make that choice. I pray that you make the right one.

There is true JOY in denying yourself!

Tami

Denial - Part 1

That word "denial" has been running through my head for the last few days. Why? I have no idea. I would like for it to STOP!!! But, there it is floating around. Do you live in denial? There are times that I really try to live in denial, but it just doesn't work out very well.

Denial can come in many different forms. There are days that I like to deny the need to get out of bed. My kids at times like to deny that I told them to clean their rooms. I would much rather watch a Hallmark movie while denying that there are dirty clothes in piles on the laundry room floor waiting to be washed or piles of laundry that need to be folded.

Sometimes, I would even like to deny that those kids acting really bad while out in public are mine!

For years, I have tried to deny that I am getting older. I have tried really hard to stay 16. That was such a good year. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when that birthday rolled around. I can't pinpoint why that was such a wonderful year; but for some reason, I have tried to hang on to it. Now, 30 plus years, a husband and three kids later, that's a little hard to do. When I am out in public and look around, I can see there are other women trying to do the same thing! It obviously isn't working for them either.

Denying something doesn't change it. I do have to get up every morning and see to my children, the laundry does have to get washed (folding is optional!), the kids are really mine and they do eventually have to clean their rooms, and every year - same day - I have a birthday and get a year older.

Living in denial or not, life doesn't stay the same. Thank goodness! I am so glad that I am not the same person that I was back when I was 16. God intends for us to move and grow and change - for the better. In doing so, God intends for each of us to become a new person and that does require some constructive denial. Jesus tell us:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done. Matthew 16:24-27 NIV

The choice is mine and yours. What kind of denial will you choose - denying you need Jesus or denying who you are and accepting Jesus?

My prayer for you is that you find JOY in denying yourself and seeking after Jesus.

Tami

What makes you tick?

What floats your boat? What puts a smile on your face?  How would an acquaintance describe you? How would your spouse describe you? What would your closest friend say about you? Are you everything that meets the eye? Have you ever thought a person is one way and then once you get to know that person she is not that way at all?

I have been told before that I come across as being very prim and proper and generally having my act together. Just typing that makes me chuckle! Anyone who really knows me knows that I am anything but "prim and proper." And, if I have an "act" I definitely do not know where I put it! I am the person who misses the chair when she goes to sit down. (I really shouldn't have a rolling desk chair!) I am the person who trips over her own two feet while walking in high heels through Wal-Mart in small town Oklahoma where people know who she is! My husband considers me humble because when one of those really embarrassing moments happen, I laugh. And, I don't just mean that I laugh. I heehaw and snort and if there is liquid anywhere close it typically comes spewing out of my mouth and . . .umm . . . my nose!

I have noticed that people in general are so quick to judge. Within a couple of minutes of meeting someone, I typically have that person "summed up" if I intend to or not. Why do I do that? So often, the person doesn't turn out to be at all how I have envisioned in my mind.

Last week, my kids and I had the blessing of tagging along with my husband while he traveled to New York City for a conference. (I can't ever say or type New York City without thinking of the Pace Picante Sauce commercial screaming, "New York City"!) While there, we had the additional blessing of going to Broadway to see Wicked. It was so much fun! We thoroughly enjoyed it, although, it was not at all what I expected. I knew that it had something to do with The Wizard of Oz, but really didn't know the story line. I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it and wish to do so, but who knew? It is definitely the perfect portrayal of "you can't judge a book by its cover"!

God has a few words to say about that judging stuff. In the book of Matthew in the New Testament of the Bible Jesus is quoted as saying:

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."  Matthew 7:1-5

Whoa! Really? Jesus said that? It really makes you stop and think, doesn't it? Or at least it does me! I know that I prefer for people to give me the benefit of the doubt. I pray that I do the same.

May there be JOY in not being the judge!

Tami